?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Conflicted

Sometimes I'm so in love with my bf I want to strangle him with hugs and sparkles and shit and sometimes I'm like idk idk I'll live with you and marry you and have some fugly kids with you bc I'm just too lazy to leave.

That was a blalant lie

Hey lj, I know I said I'd wait awhile before I write in you again. Then again, I say a lot of things. Like I say I'll be going to sleep before 2 am and get back to doing sports and eat a vegetable once a week day. I definitely did NOT say I'd stay up using lj as a break from doing uni work about chickens. Life takes us to all sorts of funny places I guess.

Anyway, I had a thing remining me of this place (that thing being my birthday and me starting to realise I'm not getting older but more like just getting old). I was talking to some girls at uni saying how strange it was to be 26, "I still remember being 16 and going to websites asking me to approve I'm 18+ years old and being like suuuureeee I am. You know what I mean ladies?"

And the girls gave me this LOOK like "this is NOT a childhood memory for me" and a bit of "Leia wtf".

So I came here and wondered around. Even got to a place asking me to approve I'm 18+. And as it turned up, I still pause for a second to think about it.

All in all

This is my palace of grif and sorrow // This is my is where I see the signs for all my small and memoriable victory marches, which made of tiny tiny steps.

I come back here once every couple of years or so to look how far I've gone. And I see my footprints I left going through jungels, deserts and mountains in my mind.

I used to think that in order to move forward you need to let things go. But maybe, just maybe, it's also the what bulids us and make us talk in one big fucking cliche'. And thats OK too.

Hopefully in two years I'll come back here a little better. A little happier. I'll have more marches to make me proud.

בואו נצעד לחלום
בלי גזע ולאום
בואו ננסה
עד שיהיה טוב
עד שיהיה

נקבור את הרובים
ולא את הילדים
בואו ננסה
עד שיהיה טוב
עד שיהיה

בואו נצעד לחלום
בלי גזע ולאום
בואו ננסה
עד שיהיה טוב
עד שיהיה

נקבור את הרובים
ולא את הילדים
בואו ננסה
עד שיהיה טוב
עד שיהיה

נכבוש את השלום
ולא את השטחים
אז בואו ננסה
עד שיהיה טוב
עד שיהיה

לחופש הנצחי
לילדים שלי
אז בואו ננסה
עד שיהיה טוב
עד שיהיה

Apr. 5th, 2010

Dexter+Bleach+Tenimyu (Dream Live 3rd. With subs. ghdfghdghdfg)=DYING SO HARD. AND CRYING. A LOT.


God. Life.



I don't think I've ever been so tired my whole life. And I swear, if anyone, anyone including the pope himself would call to get me to work, I will kill him. With a spoon. I am not kidding, goddamnit.

Oh, and I need to finish the Israeli Big Bang fic by, err, tomorrow, which leaves me... Not much time. After I wake up. Shit. :D

(One day I'll look at this post, after another week I slept 4-5 hours every night at most and feel freakin' better. Yeah)

Watching: American Idol


Thinking: John Park is the most lost DBSK member EVER.

Random thoughts about FMA

 

Spoilerz for 2005!FMA, yoCollapse )

 


But srsly, I'm gonna end rewatching it soon and my life is doing to be full of only reallife angst again. ::sadface::

Neeeeew Yearrr~


It's gonna be awesome, srsly.